Ways to annoy your Public Bathroom Stallmate

  1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
  2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
  3. Cheer and clap loudly everytime somebody breaks the silence with a bodily noise.
  4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
  5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit!! My glass eye!!"
  6. Say "Damn, this water is cold."
  7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a high place--six or eight feet, and sigh relaxingly.
  8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
  9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
  10. Fill up a large flask with Mountian Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!!"
  11. Say, "Interesting...more sinkers than floaters."
  12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toliet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
  13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"
  14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
  15. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
  16. Play a well known drum cadence over and oven again on your butt cheeks.
  17. Before you unroll toliet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor, visible in the adjacent stall.
  18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
  19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free".